From Angst to Arousal

I am lonely. And sad. And weepy. But I needed to talk to someone, and talking out loud felt stupid. Please unsubscribe if you don't want to listen, I wouldn't know. I read my last few posts and realised that nothing in my life has significantly changed. I still want what I can't have, don't …

Never too old for crushes

The oddest thing has happened. I'm finding someone quite fascinating. Thinking about interactions with them, both real and fancifully imagined, makes my gut clench and my heart flutter. I am almost one of those tweens in movies that gush over some hot guy and try to act all cool in his presence... Except I'm not. …

Aftermath: Arrival (2016)

I watched Arrival about a month back now, and I've still not fully wrapped my head around it. What a movie. The best of 2016, possibly? Admittedly, I've not read the short story it's based on. I will soon, though. I am curious about what exactly people are saying they're disappointed with in the movie …

What a Year

2016. Everyone's calling it the worst year ever. How's it been for me? I have a job now. I like it. It likes me. I can't find the words to express how much this means to me. I nearly ended up separating from the husband. Some friends came over, we somehow "patched things up", I …

I’m Not Dead

I've just been away. Life went on and I wasn't really committed to posting regularly here. Of course I'd turn to this outlet when something momentous happened, though, or started happening. Guess what? The spouse just told me to fuck off to a new life. Ouch. It's been coming for a long time. We just …

How Do You Make You ‘You’?

Here's something that I (and I'm sure many others) have struggled with all of my life - carving out my natural identity and maintaining it. It's certainly good, sagely advice to "be yourself", but what does that really mean? And how do you hold onto yourself when you are no longer just you but one part of …

Separation, Step One?

Well, it's finally happened - the husband has moved to the guest bedroom and refuses to sleep with me in the same bed any more because, as he so eloquently keeps asking me, "What's the point?" I should admit I was a bit blind-sided by this because we recently completed 9 years of being together …

Some Things I Think About While Diddling

A while back, I shared a masturbation fantasy that I have used over many, many  years of frustratedly working at getting myself off. I hope that someday, the fantasy becomes reality, but for the moment I am as far away from that happening as I could be. I am unhappily married and my husband has …

What’s Up, Doc?

It's been a long while since I've written here, and my mental state can really feel the difference. I feel a bit all over the place, like my thoughts are not cohesive and structured. I've been getting my shit together lately in other spheres of life and I think adding back blogging to that should …

Aftermath: Jurassic World (2015)

Following a strange confluence of events that prevented me from watching Jurassic World until the third attempt, I finally did. It was a really fun experience that entertained me both as a standalone movie as well as a sequel 22 years post the first Jurassic Park with tons of throwbacks. At no point did I feel …