Sexuality

Some Things I Think About While Diddling

A while back, I shared a masturbation fantasy that I have used over many, many  years of frustratedly working at getting myself off. I hope that someday, the fantasy becomes reality, but for the moment I am as far away from that happening as I could be. I am unhappily married and my husband has little to no interest in getting me off.

Obviously since I am doing my best to not cheat, I sought out some technological assistance to improve my efforts at self-love. I purchased a bullet vibrator and later a water bunny, and now enjoy using both to tease myself. I think I have had a few orgasms by now. I say think because I have unfortunately never experienced an earth-shattering orgasm, and no amount of internet/book reading or video watching will be able to teach me what an ‘ordinary’ orgasm will feel like for me. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me, and I routinely faked orgasm in bed. In the spirit of turning over a new leaf, I’ve stopped doing that and being more honest about my levels of satisfaction. (Maybe that strategy has slightly backfired on me since I haven’t had any sex in months, after being honest about not enjoying myself the last time around. Causality?)

So. I have a fertile imagination and I have been using it during my exploration sessions to cover a wide variety of reasonably vanilla sexual situations and turn-ons.  Here’s a sample.

Using my fingers on my clit and pussy to pleasure myself as a nondescript man in a suit watches me with crossed legs and occasionally tells me what to do.

Well, not exactly like True Lies, I suppose.

Unable to use my hands as my lover hand-fucks me but withholds orgasm till I can’t handle it any more.

The tie is a nice touch.

Seeing a woman hover over me as she methodically draws her middle finger over my G-spot and then slowly fucks me with a dildo.

Somehow I just went ‘awww’ when I saw this image. Odd?

Being blindfolded and tied to the bed as a person slowly titillates me and goes down on me.

Goddamnit woman, I want your perfect stomach.

Sucking a man’s cock; owner of said cock occasionally releasing a ragged moan and telling me how good it feels.

Don’t we all want to drive that crisply dressed man berserk?

If the self-pleasure session lasts longer than an hour, my mind slowly turns to mild kink and comes up with these.

On my knees facing the headboard of the bed; my wrists are tied to it and I am blindfolded. An unknown lover is teasing my arse cheeks with a flogger and occasionally landing blows that I count off.

In my head, that’s Christian Bale holding the flogger. Mmm.

Bent over doggy style, bound and gagged but not blindfolded, a man eating out my pussy very thoroughly and landing blows on it every now and then.

Yet another use for towels not in H2G2.

Arms and legs tied to four posts of a bed; splayed out for everyone to see and oh, everyone is seeing.

Diagnosis: mild exhibitionist tendencies. Ahem.

Arms bound above me, but not being suspended from them; a gentleman in his shirtsleeves laving my nipples with his tongue and mouth as he teasingly runs his palms over my flanks. I can smell his hair.

Sometimes there are nipple clamps. Shush.

Honestly, I don’t think I am into ‘proper’ kink, but I feel a sense of contentment when sexually submissive that I struggle to feel anywhere else. Perhaps with the right trainer someday, my sensibilities could be moulded.

I always aim to please.

Says it all. Sometimes.

Penny for your thoughts

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