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Lose-Lose Situation My 18 Year Old Self Would Be Ashamed Of

I am currently running an experiment of doing to the best of my ability all the things my husband wants done, in a final attempt at keeping the marriage together. This isn’t as awfully all-encompassing as it sounds – I follow his instructions regarding work to do everyday towards starting a business together as well as errands, and do them all the way he tells me to. This takes up a lot of my time as the thing we are working on is something I don’t have any experience with and I am sort of learning on the go with it.

Unfortunately for me, this situation has no positive outcome like I had envisaged earlier:

  1. I do all this stuff his way — he is happy therefore I am at peace — I what? Keep the status quo by continuing to do everything his way, for the rest of my life?
  2. I do all this stuff his way — he is happy etc — I slowly start expressing myself after peace has been maintained for awhile and we have conflicts as a result. This is fine as long as we resolve these conflicts like adults; however, it just goes back to the old established pattern of him wanting to sleep off a bad mood and giving me the silent treatment.
  3. I look for other work and leave him by joining whatever job I find – this is bound to be pretty crap work that won’t support me, and I will have to go through a separation and divorce in the mean while.
  4. I do all this stuff, we make tons of money. Still doesn’t solve the issue of our conflict resolution.
  5. We make tons of money, then I divorce him. Unappealing as I do not intend to claim for money after leaving him, but I would’ve put a lot of effort into earning that money. Also I will probably not be able to continue the work solo (unless I’ve gotten very good at it by that stage), leading back to the crap job plus separation situation.
Lose-Lose
Is there a Door No. 3 please?

Nothing looks particularly appealing at this point, I must confess. I don’t have the interest or discipline to immerse myself in what I am doing beyond the required level, but I may not have a choice at this point. This is where in the movies or nice books, the protagonist is strong and turns the situation around or finds a silver lining etc. I need to invest in some rose-tinted glasses pronto.

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