I was out all day today with the husband and some of his friends, watching some of the most boring test cricket ever (no, really). One of them recently became a father and was using his new-father privileges to explain in great detail how awful his life had become, and then gush over showing us cute photos of said offspring.
This is unfortunately something I feel I can never be ready for. I have a hard enough time helping myself develop mentally without being in charge of a completely moldable mind. I have enough health issues I don’t want to pass on to my children. I have enough emotional baggage without creating a whole new person just to make some more baggage.
I don’t want to have children. There is nothing in my body preventing me from doing it; I just don’t want them. I take no pleasure in other peoples’ children and I have enough stress from dealing with just one other person in the house right now. I used to wonder if this made me a bad person or a poor human being. That’s certainly what society will tell me, anyway.
I’ve realised since that I should really be happy that I had the courage to admit to such an opinion, and to be so decided about it. I understand the responsibility of child rearing to the extent that I would actually be a great mother. My own had mental problems and epilepsy brought about by brain damage at birth, and I have felt the lack of a mother figure all my life. I think I would make a brilliant one for someone someday, but I also know that it is not going to be someone I’ve birthed myself. Maybe all these crazy friends I have that I keep consoling and “giving my two cents”-ing.
Why is our ‘success’ as humans derived from owning a car, a house, jewellery, children and such? Sure, these are milestones achieved by many people that have enriched their lives, but they are not characteristics common to all successful people. Success can be in their career, in honing and using some natural talent, in their humility and dedication to serving others, or even working your ass off as a single mother to send her children to school. Success is incredibly personal to each individual, and having children is certainly not a required feature.